Warning: Some of the humor is not suitable for children.
The Dumb Horse:
A cowboy is riding across the plains of the Old West, when he is captured by Indians. The tribe puts him on trial for crimes against the Indian Nation, and he is found guilty.
``You have been sentenced to death,'' said the Chief, ``but, as is our custom, you have three wishes to make as your last requests.''
The cowboy thought for a minute and said, ``Well, for my first wish, I'll need my horse.''
``Give him his horse,'' said the Chief.
The cowboy whispered something into the horse's ear, and the horse took off like a shot across the prairie. Twenty minutes later, the horse returned with a beautiful blonde woman on its back. The cowboy looked at this, shrugged his shoulders, and helped the young lady off the horse. He then took her into the woods...
``Second wish,'' said the Chief.
``I'll need my horse again,'' said the cowboy.
``Give him his horse,'' said the Chief.
Once again, the cowboy whispered into the horse's ear, and once again the horse rode off over the prairie. Thirty minutes later, the horse returned with a beautiful red-head on its back.
The cowboy looked up and shrugged, helped the young lady off the horse, and went into the woods...
``This is your last wish,'' said the Chief, ``make it a good one.''
``I'll need my horse again.''
``Give him his horse,'' said the Chief.
The cowboy grabbed each side of the horse's head and put his face right up to the horse's.
``Look, it's POSSE, ok, POSSE!!!''
I found this caption generator and added my own caption:
The Husband Store
A brand new department store has just opened in London. It sells husbands.
When women go to choose a husband, they have to follow the following instructions:-
You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are 6 floors and the value of the products increase
as you go up. You may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go to the next floor,
but you CANNOT go back down except to exit the building.
One day a woman goes into the store and rather nervously starts climbing the stairs.
When she gets to the 1st floor a sign on the door reads:
Floor 1: These men have jobs.
She thinks, "I can do better than that" and keeps going up.
The 2nd floor sign reads:
Floor 2: These men have jobs and love kids.
But she goes up another floor.
The 3rd floor sign reads:
Floor 3: These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking.
"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the 4th floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4: These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking and help with the housework.
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"
Still, she goes to the 5th floor and the sign reads:
Floor 5: These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework
and have a strong romantic streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the 6th floor and the sign reads:
Floor 6: You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor.
There are no men on this floor.
This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.
Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opens a Wives store just across the street.
The 1st first floor has wives that love sex.
The 2nd floor has wives that love sex and have money.
The 3rd,4th, 5th and 6th floors have never been visited.
When women go to choose a husband, they have to follow the following instructions:-
You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are 6 floors and the value of the products increase
as you go up. You may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go to the next floor,
but you CANNOT go back down except to exit the building.
One day a woman goes into the store and rather nervously starts climbing the stairs.
When she gets to the 1st floor a sign on the door reads:
Floor 1: These men have jobs.
She thinks, "I can do better than that" and keeps going up.
The 2nd floor sign reads:
Floor 2: These men have jobs and love kids.
But she goes up another floor.
The 3rd floor sign reads:
Floor 3: These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking.
"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the 4th floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4: These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking and help with the housework.
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"
Still, she goes to the 5th floor and the sign reads:
Floor 5: These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework
and have a strong romantic streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the 6th floor and the sign reads:
Floor 6: You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor.
There are no men on this floor.
This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.
Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opens a Wives store just across the street.
The 1st first floor has wives that love sex.
The 2nd floor has wives that love sex and have money.
The 3rd,4th, 5th and 6th floors have never been visited.
